::Update::

Well, where to start ?

Last Wednesday when I was in Eugene Amalie started acting really different, and not "herself." I know newborns change all the time but this screaming business was so not like her. Up until that day she would cry when she was hungry and when we would put her in her bassinet for bed and that was about it. But that day... that day.... the screams were endless and so loud ! Screams, like she was being really hurt. It was horrible to listen to, even worse to see the look in her eye and the worst was hours being spent walking back and forth in our apartment listening to music and nothing would seem to help her until she would finally fall asleep only to wake 10 min later ready for another feeding. We heard it all, it's just a phase, maybe it's colic (I knew it wasn't) it will pass. But that mother part of me knew something was up. Yesterday I hit breaking point. I had no sleep for days, and was wearing thin. I had fallen over and hit my head on the side of the fireplace two days ago and Chad was starting to worry. Yesterday was Chad's long day class and work from 8am-8pm and I had no idea how I could make it that long. Chad shipped me over to his parents house so his mom could watch her for a bit while I snoozed. (Thank you Grandma kelli) I had only one bottle pumped so I didn't get too much sleep but atleast having my hands free, made me feel a lot less stressed. I was upstairs sleeping(well trying to) over the loud screams and wails of Amalie. I knew nursing her made her stop so I was keep wanting to run down their to offer up my boob, but everyone was keep telling me, she just ate she needs to learn to go longer. Helpless, I would sulk back upstiars to try to catch a little more rest, which was hard since my boobs were getting engorged at this point and I wasn't able to sleep on my stomach anymore.

I picked up Chad after work and back to the apartment we went, from then until about 2 this afternoon was a cycle of, feed, content for 20 min or so, screaming, more screaming, fall asleep, 10 min later wake up to feed. ( I generally go 2 hours between feedings) during the day.

Through out all this we wanted to just put her down and let her "cry it out" which we will end up doing, but still I didn't think it was just her crying to cry.

Chad got fed up and called the Dr office, we knew nothing was "medically" wrong with her but we needed some professional advice. At her 2 week apt she weighted 9lb 4 oz today 5.5 weeks later she was only 10 lb. He weight had leveled off and not gaining on the curve she was on earlier. During the apt she started to wail for the Dr. I had brought a bottle with me and Dr. Meyer had me give it to her so she would calm for a bit, she sucked it down so fast (even though I had just fed her before leaving the house) and Dr. Meyer said I think we have a case of hungry baby syndrome. I felt horrible, have I been starving my child ! But I knew I was doing everything I thought was right.

About when she started these spells is when a growth spurt started she thinks and my milk supply wasn't catching up to her needs, also she takes 45 min - hour to nurse and by the time she unlatches half of that may already be digested. She sent us home with formula and had us mix 3 oz of my milk with 3 oz of formula and offer that to her.

She drank it ALL
And fell asleep within 2 min not 2 hours
And has been asleep on her own for 3 hours now !!
I just had a hungry baby !

Also she has not been taking naps and won't fall asleep easily at night, we have been wanting to do the cry it out method but wasn't sure if it was too early. Dr. Meyer said at this point we need to do whats best for Mama, since that will be best for Baby. So once her tummy gets full we will start putting her down to cry it out, praying we get this no sleep/crying phase to pass soon !

The sleepy/satisfied baby tonight makes my whole night ! I was feeling so helpless....

Thank you God and Dr. Meyer
Little Amalie I love you we had no idea you were just hungry :(

A reminder to myself

These pictures are a reminder to myself that
1. My child is happy
2.My child is capable of sleeping

If you were in our apartment tonight, I don't think either of the above statements would have crossed your minds. Amalie seriously had a full blown meltdown ! Not sure what her deal was, it started out of nowhere. We have had trouble with her not taking naps so I think she might have just been over tired. Even though she slept well last night and took one nap on my chest today, maybe days of sleeplessness are catching up with her ? I hope we have our happy baby back tomorrow though, all this screaming is tough !

Tonight I had a quiz due by 11:59 pm. I had planned on taking it earlier when Chad's mom was over watching Amalie but Amalie decided she wanted to eat three times in 3 hours so I was only really able to work on my homework for about 45 min. Leaving my quiz until tonight. At around 9 I sat down in the other room to get started, it's timed and I had 90 min to take it. Right when I got started Amalie started her fit, Chad tried everything to soothe her but the only thing that ended up working was for me to nurse her, then have her on my chest. I think Chad felt bad he wasn't able to help her, and that I wasn't able to focus on my exam, but it all worked out. I had my laptop set up on one side of me to take the quiz, the other hand with a binkie on it just in case the wailing started up again flipping through pages looking for the answers and rocking to keep the baby calm.... multi tasking to the MAX ! Not the most ideal situation, and I was quite a site to see but I ended up with 29/30 on the quiz and a quiet sleepy baby who is now sleeping away on Daddy's chest, we are not brave enough to try to set her in her bassinet, enjoying the quiet......

I Try I really do !

Ah the saga of getting Amalie to take naps continues...... Yesterday was awesome she slept all day long ! Today she has been awake all day long ! I have paced the house bouncing her in the dark until I was pretty sure I had lost at least 500 calories, put her in the swing, the bouncer, laid her on my bed, the bassinet, rocked her, swayed, and repeat. At what point it's been about 2 hours and alas she is hungry again, so the cycle starts over after an hour long nursing session (I'll post about my love/hate relationship with nursing later and the inevitable formula that will be coming soon) at what point, I threw in the towel. I feel horrible sometimes that she can go so long without taking a nap, but I really have tried everything ! She doesn't get fussy or irritable, just looks hyper and wants to play. So today I decided to stop trying and gave in and put her in her crib with some toys to keep her occupied so I could get some homework done, oh and PEE ! I think my full bladder kept me dancing for a while longer than usual :) Now it's been 1 hour of silence in the dark, went in to check on her and not a sleepy eye in sight.... so the lights went on, gave her a kiss, she gave me the cutest smile back and I snapped a picture of her playing.

Fingers crossed this could mean a good night rest for Chad and I ? Chad's free day (no work or school) tomorrow so if she is hyper thankfully he'll be able to stay up with her. He's the most wonderful husband in the whole world, If I haven't mentioned that yet ! Such a huge help all the time, we miss him so much when he's gone !

Happy Baby

Amalie is going to be 1 month old tomorrow ! I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. She is so wonderful in every way. Chad and I are truly blessed to have such a wonderful daughter, we can't wait to see all the changes she will go through this first year.

School starts for me on Monday, so praying that transition goes alright. They are all online again this quarter but we are still to attain any kind of routine with this little one and running off of very little sleep each day. She loves to stay up all night long ! Literally she can be awake and alert for 10 hour chucks of time. We have been working on some ways to get her nights and days switched around in hopes of getting us some more sleep for when school and work start up again for both of us.

Right now we are just taking one day at a time, waking up every morning saying I wonder what the day will bring today. Being a new parent is hard work but so rewarding.